If you had a robot, what would you make it do? If I had a robot I’d teach it to bartend and make the world’s best pomegranate margaritas. Then I’d make it work in the local club/bar scene and put the tips towards getting my master’s degree in Swimming Pool Management, because seriously, who likes to swim in a dirty pool? I’ll tell you: no one. If you wrote a fortune cookie message, what would it say? My fortune cookie message would be, “Today may be the last day of your life. Read the Snows of Kilimanjaro this afternoon because it’s fantastic, and because you may be dead by tonight,” because both statements are true, and that short story is one of the best things Western culture has produced. The other being Clorox Wipes. If you starred in a reality show, what would it be called? If I starred in a reality show it would be called, “Get off your ass and stop trying to live vicariously through strangers.”